So many books and articles written about grief focus on feelings, self-care, and coping. One topic, however, almost seems assumed but not addressed. When someone we love dies, many thoughts and emotions go through our minds. The sheer volume of memories and the weight of remembering a loved one after their death can overwhelm us. At some point the griever must begin to process and this process includes the important concept of reflection.
What is reflection?
Reflection in times of grieving can take many forms, but all forms attempt to make sense of the nonsensical, to analyze the unanalyzable, to rationalize the irrational grief. Reflection often includes a “what could I have done differently” phase, wishing things were different when the deceased was alive. Another facet of reflection is “I wish I could have said…” Both channels of thought are natural. Another form of reflection can focus on self. Thoughts like “should I live differently,” “what can I do to make my life meaningful after this loss,” and “who am I without them?”
Self-reflection is again a normal facet of navigating grief. However, the “would have, could have, should have” moments can be a concerning path to tread. Remember that nothing can alter the past, but learning from it and growing out of it can lead to transformative new paths for the griever. Reflect as you must, just do not beat yourself up for things you cannot change. Learn and grow as you grieve.
Reflection can lead to revelation about memories and a memorial
At Dodds Memorials we encourage family and friends to reflect on the lives of their loved ones. Unlike the typical tombstone or headstone company who wants to pigeonhole every family into three sizes and three colors, Dodds takes the time to reflect with the family; we call it taking memories channeled through grief. Out of this channeling comes the Lasting Vision of Love that a family creates to honor the life lived, not the life lost. That makes us different; we take the time to reflect with you, shoulder a small piece of your grief, and hone in on what is most memorable about your beloved. Most families benefit from this process, which allows their grief to continue down its path.
In Reflection – Seeing Ourselves in Remembering Our Loss, we can find peace if we properly channel it to remember, grieve and grow. May you in your grief, find the strength to remember is healthy and fulfilling ways. The reflection will be painful, but using it properly will allow it to be a steady companion as you navigate the grief you will always have.